Groves: Turning me into we
What is a Grove? Glad you asked! A Grove is a dedicated private, safe communal space in Riza where people come together to support 1) each other, 2) a person, or 3) a common cause.
Why did we name this feature a Grove?
First of all, Groves are super cool. Groves are nature showing off big-time. Trees grow in groves by holding hands under the soil. Their ROOTS (remember: Riza means Root in Greek!) make them stronger, together. Redwood trees grow so tall and can weather wind storms and floods so well because of their interconnected root system. In these groves, the roots themselves help trees absorb the nutrients they need to grow. Their root system creates a stability that allow their trees to soar. The roots also build immunity, so the trees can resist bugs better, recover faster from fire, and re-create new growth. It’s the grove that enables these trees to become so extraordinary - much more effectively than what any of these trees could do alone.
Creating a grove is an act of defiance. When you create a grove in Riza, you are saying no - no to rugged individualism, to going-it-alone, to thinking that self-reliance is actually a thing. Listen to pretty much anyone who’s been successful in sports - they will tell you there’s no way to do that without a mom believing in them when no one else did, a coach who saw their potential, and/or to a teammate who had their back. When you join a grove, you say yes: yes to connectedness, to connection, to interdependence, to letting down your guard, to being willing to be held accountable, to giving and getting support. Groves are where growth happens.
But do Groves work?
We have so much more to go to make the Groves feature fabulous. But already, we’d like to tell you about 2 examples of how Groves have benefitted folks in the last 2 years, strengthening and deepening relationships and providing strong roots for thriving.
The first example is very personal. My adult daughter Hannah and I share a grove together. Our grove is a safe place where Hannah shares all sorts of stuff about different parts of her life that matter to her. She knows I care in a more mom-way than other people do. But because we’ve gone through so much together, the grove is also a reflection of the growth in each of us and in us together. When she created our grove, the 2 agreements she set for us were simple:
I agree to be honest
We agree to consistently communicate and encourage one another.
Those agreements hit me like a rock, in the best way. Hannah was asserting that trust was the foundation not only of the grove we share but of the relationship we have. Honesty is a practice, and a pattern for us, and we return to it as a way of being together, as a reinforcing cycle that benefits us both.
Hannah adds entries about her health, work, emotional growth, relationships, and so much more to our shared grove. The grove helps her be seen and supported, and it helps me pay attention to her life in a more intimate and loving way, even though we now live 2,448 miles apart from each other. Our grove has strengthened our bond. Both of us use the content in the Grove to guide wiser decisions, to sustain healthy patterns, to celebrate joys, and to support each other through hardships. It helps Hannah’s emotional resilience, but honestly because our relationship has matured, it is also more mutual, and Hannah builds up my emotional resilience as much I build up hers - and she does it with great intention and care.
The second example of a successful grove is of a small group of 5 multi-generation peers who are using their Grove to give and get support from each other. Each member shares an intention and uses the notes section to go a little deeper with each other. The new mom’s intention is to share one good thing and one hard thing daily. The young professional’s intention is to practice kindness. The newly retired man created an intention to document his pilgrimage to a monastery with reflection and inspiration notes and photos. All members of the grove contributed along the way, with appreciation and encouragement. Some of the benefits of this Grove have been subtle. Others have been surprisingly profound. What these Riza members have found is that the Grove really does promote a feeling of belonging. And lots of joy. There’s something about the Grove that makes people happy - and happy to be in it together.
Can you explain a bit more about the 3 types of Groves that can be created in Riza?
1. A grove for each other: Create a grove for your family or for a small group of friends that are committed to mutual support on a deeper level.
2. A grove for one person: Create a one-on-one grove for a mentoring or other guided relationship.
OR create a wrap-around grove specifically focused on your mentee or other person you want to support. Invite other people that care: family, care providers, and other key contributors to your mentee’s wellbeing.
3. A grove for people engaged in a cause: Create a grove for people that want to make the world better together.
I’m a mentor. What Groves should I definitely be part of in Riza?
Start with your own community of support. Mentoring is hard so be sure that you’re part of a group of peers that get it, that find solutions, and that are there when you need to not feel quite so isolated and alone.
Create a Grove for you and your mentee, for a group of mentees, or for your mentee and their wrap-around community of support.
How do permissions work in Groves?
We call all the people who participate in a Grove: participants (clever, huh?!? 😂). Depending on your permissions, you will be either:
The Grove host or co-host - this person who sets participant permissions, invites and removes participants, and is in charge of the Grove’s purpose and agreements. The host is the only one who can delete the grove. Both host and co-host can remove content. Hosts can transfer the Grove to a new host if they want.
Participants - these are the people who are added to a grove. Anybody who creates a Grove can add you to it. If you are added to a Grove you don’t want to be in, your can easily leave. Participants share their content with the Grove and can contribute to others’ content too.
Participant+ - all of the same permissions as Participants but also they can add other people to the Grove (and remove anyone they’ve added). Some types of Groves work well when some or all of the participants are able to add others - for example, a Grove oriented to a cause, or a group whose structure is flat would like this permission type.
Why do Groves have a stated purpose and agreements?
Systems thinkers know that all systems have rules, whether we state them or not. In unhealthy systems, those rules are often not acknowledged but harmful. Healthy systems are guided by shared purpose and common agreements. We are actually super excited to hear what purpose and agreements each of you create for your groves. There are many incredible examples of proactive communities that have very clear, constructive purposes and agreements - from cancer healing circles to AA groups to book clubs to listening circles, and many more. One of our favorites is Martin Luther King’s Beloved Community. We encourage you to find inspiration from these and other communities of purpose, and to be thoughtful as you create a purpose and the agreements that are best for those in your grove. We think there is opportunity there to help your grove be its best. Please share what you learn with us.
What are Riza’s visions for Groves in the future?
That is where you come in. Help us fulfill the potential of this feature so we can make it easier for you to build community, share what matters most, and get the support you need. We have ideas! A calendar feature, a chat function, polls, shared resources, and more. We are committed to bringing the tools that help the people you are close with thrive together.